Updated: Sep 16, 2020
Learning to love yourself comes naturally to some and often is a struggle for others. One of the most common themes I find with individuals who struggle with self worth often have what I would consider a weak foundation for personal worth. In this post I wanted to explore how to start the process of developing strong personal worth that can stand the test of time.
First we need to identify what a weak foundation for an individual's worth is. A weak foundation for self worth is founded on external sources. This can be a ton of different things, but the best way for me to explain it is by using a pie chart. Let's say the following is my personal pie chart of self worth: my integrity/ faith would comprise 40%, my career about 20%, and my family 40%. When my worth is founded in any of these things and is challenged by trauma or just life changes, my worth can quickly be rattled to its core. Unfortunately, since the people around us, the world we live in, and even our own selves have failures and flaws, they cannot be dependable to be a firm, unmovable foundation. For example, if we lose our job or we have a tragic incident within our family, we have lost a large chunk of our foundation that supports our self worth and things can start toppling over. The reality of our worth being founded on ourselves or others is a weak foundation.
Luckily there is hope for having a strong foundation for self worth. A strong foundation starts when you recognize your potential. When my little girl was born, I looked at her and still to this day see the immense potential that she has. My daughter as a newborn had not contributed anything to the world but it was overwhelmingly clear to me that she will always have potential.
My daughter is no different than any other person in the world. She is overwhelmingly important to me but as a whole she is another human. If her potential is no different than any other human on earth than it stands to reason that every human on earth has extremely high potential.
A personal example of this is while in jr high and high school I struggled academically and believed I was not college material or would not be able to achieve an undergraduate much less a graduate level degree. Though I did not believe I could achieve it, once I pushed through that mental barrier, recognizing that with hard work I could achieve those things I once thought I was not able to do. My potential had always been there despite my disbelief, limiting thoughts, or at the time judgement from others. My potential was always there, I just focused on my limitations and struggles rather then what I could become.
When your worth is founded on who you can be and that potential rather than what you currently are that creates hope. When you have hope your worth is not founded on you or others it's founded on who you can become. When that shift is made, doors open to new possibilities. External factors are still important in personal development but ultimately do not define your worth. When you start recognize your ability to grow and the potential you were born with and created with, that is first step in developing worth that will stand the test of time.